Manners? Who needs them?

‘Manners Makyth Man’ is a quote attributed to William of Wykeham, who lived in the 14th Century, a man who, amongst other things, founded Winchester College (and incorporated the quote into its motto). But what does the statement mean for us today? Is the age of chivalry dead or, at least, on its deathbed? Do the Thatcherite years and the ‘every man (or woman) for themselves’ mantra continue to have a lasting legacy? With the explosion in the world population over the last 50 years, do we still have the space and time for a bit of consideration? Or, equally, with globalisation and the slow and steady mixing of cultures, is it becoming an irrelevance (as other cultures behave in many different ways to us and so water down our own behaviour)?

I don’t propose to try and answer these questions right here and now. I expect there are many out there better qualified to address them than me. I have commented before about the kind of behaviour which has become commonplace*, but instead of repeating myself, I will share a story with you.

Near home is a long thin road, about half a mile long, with cars parked approx. half the distance on one side and half on the other. When you drive through one of these sections, it is nearly impossible to see the other, and although there may be gaps between parked cars such that it is sometimes possible to pull in to let an oncoming vehicle pass, the vast majority of drivers are courteous and set aside the ‘right of way’ rule in favour of (a quiet life and) letting people through. So, imagine a scenario when you are half way through one of these sections and another vehicle suddenly appears ahead. What do you do? We assumed the ‘courtesy’ angle and carried on, but the other driver did not even slow down. Our natural reaction was disbelief, as the vehicle approached to within a couple of meters. With tinted windows, it was impossible to tell what was going on in the other vehicle, but then a finger appeared, pointing behind us. What made the proposition of reversing back up the road even more ridiculous was the fact that someone had chosen to park on the opposite side to the parked cars, mostly on the pavement, but still creating a narrower passage. I shrugged my shoulders and indicated that there was nowhere for us to go. Then there was movement, the car door opened and we braced ourselves as a rather large man got out. He looked very dapper – it could have been a Trilby on his head, and he sported a very impressive looking walking cane. Nervously, we opened the passenger window, but to our astonishment he said ‘Good morning’ and carried on walking, on up the road behind us! Was he checking for a spot that we could reverse into? If so, he was wasting everyone’s time. Had he decided to abandon his car? Apparently, not. We were already late, so I judged the gap and eased our car onto the pavement and around his, and when we were safely back on the road, I stopped and my wife got out with her iPhone. By that point, he was clambering back into his vehicle. He took off at speed, and disappeared around the corner, but not before we grabbed a picture of his registration plate.

Stressful. Ridiculous. Totally unnecessary. It seems no one is satisfied with maybe getting their 15 minutes of fame any longer. In an age when we can push virtually anything we want into the public online domain through many different channels, we have grown to believe that no one is more important than me, me, me, and if that means shoving it right in your face, so be it.

You asked for it, mate! Don’t you know who I am?


*short extract from ‘Seconds’

There’s the jostling at the bar, shoving into queues at the supermarket or petrol station, brazenly nicking a space in the car park right in front of your nose, any excuse to get ahead at your expense.

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